The beautiful thing about telling the truth is that it only leads to success and for the sake of not having to turn this post into a novel I simply say “fear is the dark side of prophecy”. So I write this as an example of hope, faith, and love; as an experience both understood and rediscovered.
In the spring of 2009, a friend was passing around a birthday book that, in great detail, went into the nature of people as according to the positions of astrological bodies on their birthdays. Reading my birthday page out of this book was like watching a movie replay the fate, fear, hope, and love I experienced during the winter and spring of 2005 leading up to my 29th birthday; I experienced a fear so deep, as if walking a tight rope; one so high that if I fell I would be lost forever and if I made it to the other side I would be a hero.
During the fall of 2004 I was working for a concrete company out of Ft. Collins, CO. A couple co-workers (brothers in fact, one was the foreman) and I had become friends and we’d often ended up in some of the deepest conversation I had yet to experience. More often than not we ended up talking about current affairs and what they perceived as a new dark age and the end of the world as we knew it. But, as much as I agreed with the points of view, I refused to give up hope. We also often discussed making movies and writing screenplays, and one day while trading story ideas, the younger brother says “you should write a screenplay about the Jesus of suburbia”. That was it for me, that day my life changed.
Though I wasn’t religious and rarely ever prayed, I’d always believed in Love, and I’d always wondered about fate. But, I had no real basis for my reasoning other the common sense I grew up with and the beating of my own heart. Why were things happening as if it seemed I was being shown something? Why was it so hard for everyone to just see the best in each other? Why did that seem so obvious to me? Why was I the only one saying it? Why did that make me a fool? I’d had so many friends and I missed them. Why was I always forced to choose one or the other? Why am I alone when all I wanted was for us to truly be together?
I had always stuck my neck out for my friends, whether they’ve seen it or not. But, not in a blind selfless way. It just made sense to take care of my friends so that maybe one day, if they so chose, they may understand the grace of forgiveness and do the same for me. So seemingly lost, never so sincerely, with Orion shining bright in the dead of night, I begged God for understanding.
One afternoon I was at the public library sitting at a computer writing an email to friend, I wanted to thank her. Even though I pushed her away, I did it because I Loved her, and out of that Love, for the first time in my life I’d learned what Love really was and I knew in my heart it was true. I wanted to share that realization with her because it was out of our work that I realized it. Out of a lack of skill to articulate this new understanding I looked to the bottom of the screen to find the internet icon so could find the words. And in a random quirk of Fate, there it was, an open word document title “Love Defined”. I did all I could to hold back the tears as I read what felt like a perfect refection of what I wanted to say, what felt like an answer to my prayers, what felt like fate, what I later learned was based on a passage from the first chapter of Corinthians.
I can only find a few words that can touch it’s reality and those words can only lie under a canopy of beauty. As the days and months past I felt as if my prayers were being answered. Only, the answers were being not only found in the moment, but in the past, and in the future. Contemplating this now understood definition of Love, realizations ran through my soul like a raging river and in no other time of my life have I found myself, so many times, literally on my knees in tears of awe. As if everything that I had foolishly chosen for the sake of not ever feeling the need to say “what if?”, was in fact the best choice. As if everything that I had chosen for the sake of Love and Fate was in fact becoming, increasingly, seemingly, clearly, the foundation of a great choice.
I’ve come to trust astrology, not as a religion, not as tool to help my day seem easier to understand, but in like knowing what time the sun will rise again, and when again the moon will draw and swell the seas. Just as evergreens timing their photosynthesis on the sunrise and sunset is only a portion of life’s totality. This story of rebirth is only a chapter of a much grander epic.
Again that spring I found a passage, what a 1000 years ago would be consider prophecy, at the end of an article titled “July 20th” simply by checking the update page of my favorite website. A site that I found by simply looking for more information about Laurence Gardner who wrote the book “Bloodline of the Holy Grail” outlining the possible lineage of Jesus before and after his life. A site written by the nuclear physicist Daniel S. Ward who happened to live only a few miles away. Here’s that passage.
In terms of the future, on July 20, 2005, the planets Saturn and Chiron will be in their fifth opposition of the 21st Century in the signs of Leo and Aquarius — degrees symbolized by the key words, ‘conflagration’ and ‘concretization of an ideal’. The two solar symbols for July 20th itself are ‘Inner rebirth through a total acceptance of the primordial values manifest in the human body and its natural functions’, and ‘The intuitive weighing of alternatives’.” [2] There may indeed be drama afoot when the “Maverick” once again opposes the “Establishment”! Stay tuned!
The Maverick
The beautiful thing about telling the truth is that it only leads to success and for the sake of not having to turn this post into a novel I simply say “fear is the dark side of prophecy”. So I write this as an example of hope, faith, and love; as an experience both understood and rediscovered.
In the spring of 2009, a friend was passing around a birthday book that, in great detail, went into the nature of people as according to the positions of astrological bodies on their birthdays. Reading my birthday page out of this book was like watching a movie replay the fate, fear, hope, and love I experienced during the winter and spring of 2005 leading up to my 29th birthday; I experienced a fear so deep, as if walking a tight rope; one so high that if I fell I would be lost forever and if I made it to the other side I would be a hero.
During the fall of 2004 I was working for a concrete company out of Ft. Collins, CO. A couple co-workers (brothers in fact, one was the foreman) and I had become friends and we’d often ended up in some of the deepest conversation I had yet to experience. More often than not we ended up talking about current affairs and what they perceived as a new dark age and the end of the world as we knew it. But, as much as I agreed with the points of view, I refused to give up hope. We also often discussed making movies and writing screenplays, and one day while trading story ideas, the younger brother says “you should write a screenplay about the Jesus of suburbia”. That was it for me, that day my life changed.
Though I wasn’t religious and rarely ever prayed, I’d always believed in Love, and I’d always wondered about fate. But, I had no real basis for my reasoning other the common sense I grew up with and the beating of my own heart. Why were things happening as if it seemed I was being shown something? Why was it so hard for everyone to just see the best in each other? Why did that seem so obvious to me? Why was I the only one saying it? Why did that make me a fool? I’d had so many friends and I missed them. Why was I always forced to choose one or the other? Why am I alone when all I wanted was for us to truly be together?
I had always stuck my neck out for my friends, whether they’ve seen it or not. But, not in a blind selfless way. It just made sense to take care of my friends so that maybe one day, if they so chose, they may understand the grace of forgiveness and do the same for me. So seemingly lost, never so sincerely, with Orion shining bright in the dead of night, I begged God for understanding.
One afternoon I was at the public library sitting at a computer writing an email to friend, I wanted to thank her. Even though I pushed her away, I did it because I Loved her, and out of that Love, for the first time in my life I’d learned what Love really was and I knew in my heart it was true. I wanted to share that realization with her because it was out of our work that I realized it. Out of a lack of skill to articulate this new understanding I looked to the bottom of the screen to find the internet icon so could find the words. And in a random quirk of Fate, there it was, an open word document title “Love Defined”. I did all I could to hold back the tears as I read what felt like a perfect refection of what I wanted to say, what felt like an answer to my prayers, what felt like fate, what I later learned was based on a passage from the first chapter of Corinthians.
I can only find a few words that can touch it’s reality and those words can only lie under a canopy of beauty. As the days and months past I felt as if my prayers were being answered. Only, the answers were being not only found in the moment, but in the past, and in the future. Contemplating this now understood definition of Love, realizations ran through my soul like a raging river and in no other time of my life have I found myself, so many times, literally on my knees in tears of awe. As if everything that I had foolishly chosen for the sake of not ever feeling the need to say “what if?”, was in fact the best choice. As if everything that I had chosen for the sake of Love and Fate was in fact becoming, increasingly, seemingly, clearly, the foundation of a great choice.
I’ve come to trust astrology, not as a religion, not as tool to help my day seem easier to understand, but in like knowing what time the sun will rise again, and when again the moon will draw and swell the seas. Just as evergreens timing their photosynthesis on the sunrise and sunset is only a portion of life’s totality. This story of rebirth is only a chapter of a much grander epic.
Again that spring I found a passage, what a 1000 years ago would be consider prophecy, at the end of an article titled “July 20th” simply by checking the update page of my favorite website. A site that I found by simply looking for more information about Laurence Gardner who wrote the book “Bloodline of the Holy Grail” outlining the possible lineage of Jesus before and after his life. A site written by the nuclear physicist Daniel S. Ward who happened to live only a few miles away. Here’s that passage.