Twins
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions" that was all I could muster. It's strange how difficult it can be to express concepts so deeply rooted into your psyche; you'd think it'd be second nature. But, I've come to learn that it is a true reflection of your intentions. Are you really simply trying to share your story, or is there something else?
But, this time, that's all I had to say. I was surprised; I'm not a judge of character, but I will try to measure you up; she didn't strike me as spiritual. However, that moment for me was almost a spiritual climax. I had just found Joseph Campbell and learned of the Buddha's story; I was fascinated; another hero to validate the human spirit. It was only a few days before that I had realized he would be an essential part of my spiritual journey.
"I have something I think you'll like" she told me as she put down her beer and headed out of the room. I was a buzz. I'm sure I'm not the only one who can appreciate those moments when an almost perfect stranger seems to just get you. And then she returned with a small brown and black book with a beautiful white statue on the front, "The Dhammapada". I have yet to master the skill needed to properly articulate my reaction when she handed me that book, "You can have it, it's yours. You're supposed to carry it with you", but I will try.
It was serendipitous, but at the same time I wasn't surprised. To me, this sorta thing had happened more times than I could count and at one point it was so intense I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do about it; it felt important, and it seems that it still is. But, in my simple nature, I felt and understood that the true beauty of such things is infinitely personal and nearly impossible to be understood by another. The only thing that can bridge this infinite divide is true Love. But, this being said, sometimes I've taken note; this seemed like more than a quirk of fate and closer to being reconnected with a long-lost friend.
Reading his words were like flipping switches on in the darkest corners of my heart and mind; those places that drove me, but yet I could find no one else supportive of them. He was that best friend holding a mirror to my heart. I missed him. With tears I thanked God and yet I'd never seen his face.
Update 4/13/10: more on this coming soon.. Here's a quote from Michael K. Stoskopf that I just found looking up serendipity. "it should be recognized that serendipitous discoveries are of significant value in the advancement of science and often present the foundation for important intellectual leaps of understanding". Is this serendipitous?
I've walked the line and the narrow path. When I have, I've been more progressive than any other times of my life. But, at the same time, there were so many around me I cared about that shunned me for not walking theirs and my progress was abominable for abandoning them.
I feel it's time for me to truly return to the narrow path, for as much as I have tried to please, I have only abandoned myself. In love, I will return.
"Reciting a small portion of the scriptures, but putting it diligently into practice; letting go of passion, aggression, and confusion; revering the truth with a clear mind; and not clinging to anything, here or hereafter; brings the harvest of the holy life." 20-4, Twins, The Dammaphada, The Buddha
