It seems to me that it is a simple balance that needs to be maintained. Either way you’re ending up in a non-reality based state and will be superseded.

Pure reason is lifeless; like living in a robotic suit it gets tighter and tighter the more reason you add to try and justify it; unwittingly suffocating yourself you lash-out onto others. While this amour gives you great strength, allowing you to seemingly win most battles, you’re not allowed to grow while life passes you by.

Although, the dream is in fact a spiritual state, when on this earth you are not a totally spiritual creature. I feel it might be God’s, the universe’s, life’s, or whatever you want to call it’s course for us to master the physical by seeing all infinite potentials in our spiritual states. The evolution of life is about growth; with the greater potential superseding the lesser. Your feet should always be on the ground. If you’re not aware, mindful, and in harmony with the life around you, you will be left behind.

Life is beautifully complex; both infinite and simple. We all must make are own way when learning and mastering our ships on the ocean of life. But, every sailor must return home, and its when you do, and the love for your family and friends that truly shows you what you’ve learned.

But, this time, that’s all I had to say. I was surprised; I’m not a judge of character, but I will try to measure you up; she didn’t strike me as spiritual. However, that moment for me was almost a spiritual climax. I had just found Joseph Campbell and learned of the Buddha’s story; I was fascinated; another hero to validate the human spirit. It was only a few days before that I had realized he would be an essential part of my spiritual journey.

“I have something I think you’ll like” she told me as she put down her beer and headed out of the room. I was a buzz. I’m sure I’m not the only one who can appreciate those moments when an almost perfect stranger seems to just get you. And then she returned with a small brown and black book with a beautiful white statue on the front, “The Dhammapada”. I have yet to master the skill needed to properly articulate my reaction when she handed me that book, “You can have it, it’s yours. You’re supposed to carry it with you”, but I will try.

It was serendipitous, but at the same time I wasn’t surprised. To me, this sorta thing had happened more times than I could count and at one point it was so intense I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do about it; it felt important, and it seems that it still is. But, in my simple nature, I felt and understood that the true beauty of such things is infinitely personal and nearly impossible to be understood by another. The only thing that can bridge this infinite divide is true Love. But, this being said, sometimes I’ve taken note; this seemed like more than a quirk of fate and closer to being reconnected with a long-lost friend.

Reading his words were like flipping switches on in the darkest corners of my heart and mind; those places that drove me, but yet I could find no one else supportive of them. He was that best friend holding a mirror to my heart. I missed him. With tears I thanked God and yet I’d never seen his face.

Update 4/13/10: more on this coming soon.. Here’s a quote from Michael K. Stoskopf that I just found looking up serendipity. “it should be recognized that serendipitous discoveries are of significant value in the advancement of science and often present the foundation for important intellectual leaps of understanding”. Is this serendipitous?

I’ve walked the line and the narrow path. When I have, I’ve been more progressive than any other times of my life. But, at the same time, there were so many around me I cared about that shunned me for not walking theirs and my progress was abominable for abandoning them.

I feel it’s time for me to truly return to the narrow path, for as much as I have tried to please, I have only abandoned myself. In love, I will return.

“Reciting a small portion of the scriptures, but putting it diligently into practice; letting go of passion, aggression, and confusion; revering the truth with a clear mind; and not clinging to anything, here or hereafter; brings the harvest of the holy life.” 20-4, Twins, The Dammaphada, The Buddha

After reading an article on health care reform (I don’t need to reference it), I spent some time combing the comments; I couldn’t help but shake my head; then I caught myself and realized that I shouldn’t judge.

How is it, in an age of such mass communication, that we still end up barking at each other? How is it that we end up in such dark places with an infinite amount of knowledge at our finger tips? Do we not want to be better? Do we not want to be brighter? I wonder what would happen if some of us actually got our way? I wonder if we realize that some of the things we insist on being right would be tyranny to almost everyone who knows us?

“To look is not the same as to see, to see is not the same as to perceive. We perceive, really – on a higher, conceptual-functional level – only what we know, understand well and can give a name to. ” Zbigniew Czajkowski

As I’ve become a man, I know that before I can riposte I must be brave enough to open my eyes.  That being said, the very best riposte comes from the one who can foresee the others intent. We must have sure footing and we must know the objective before us or our presumptions will almost certainly seal our doom.

Jesus said, “I have cast fire upon the world, and look, I’m guarding it until it blazes.”

Many years ago there were so few of us, it’s hard to believe.  There was once an Earth that knew only a few human souls compared to the 6.7 billion walking the Earth today. At one point, we not only shared Earth with cousins of family, but cousins of evolution. I often wish I lived in those times fighting monstrous beasts with spears by day and fire by night; when families spent a millenia migrating over entire continents. Only the sharpest lived in those days; growing up was a right of passage; the elders taught the essentials, then Man braved life. For if he didn’t, he died, and his kind with him. And so, his elders gave him fire.

In the spring of 2009, a friend was passing around a birthday book that, in great detail, went into the nature of people as according to the positions of astrological bodies on their birthdays. Reading my birthday page out of this book was like watching a movie replay the fate, fear, hope, and love I experienced during the winter and spring of 2005 leading up to my 29th birthday; I experienced a fear so deep, as if walking a tight rope; one so high that if I fell I would be lost forever and if I made it to the other side I would be a hero.

During the fall of 2004 I was working for a concrete company out of Ft. Collins, CO. A couple co-workers (brothers in fact, one was the foreman) and I had become friends and we’d often ended up in some of the deepest conversation I had yet to experience. More often than not we ended up talking about current affairs and what they perceived as a new dark age and the end of the world as we knew it. But, as much as I agreed with the points of view, I refused to give up hope. We also often discussed making movies and writing screenplays, and one day while trading story ideas, the younger brother says “you should write a screenplay about the Jesus of suburbia”. That was it for me, that day my life changed.

Though I wasn’t religious and rarely ever prayed, I’d always believed in Love, and I’d always wondered about fate. But, I had no real basis for my reasoning other the common sense I grew up with and the beating of my own heart. Why were things happening as if it seemed I was being shown something? Why was it so hard for everyone to just see the best in each other? Why did that seem so obvious to me? Why was I the only one saying it? Why did that make me a fool? I’d had so many friends and I missed them. Why was I always forced to choose one or the other? Why am I alone when all I wanted was for us to truly be together?

I had always stuck my neck out for my friends, whether they’ve seen it or not. But, not in a blind selfless way. It just made sense to take care of my friends so that maybe one day, if they so chose, they may understand the grace of forgiveness and do the same for me. So seemingly lost, never so sincerely, with Orion shining bright in the dead of night, I begged God for understanding.

One afternoon I was at the public library sitting at a computer writing an email to friend, I wanted to thank her. Even though I pushed her away, I did it because I Loved her, and out of that Love, for the first time in my life I’d learned what Love really was and I knew in my heart it was true. I wanted to share that realization with her because it was out of our work that I realized it. Out of a lack of skill to articulate this new understanding I looked to the bottom of the screen to find the internet icon so could find the words. And in a random quirk of Fate, there it was, an open word document title “Love Defined“. I did all I could to hold back the tears as I read what felt like a perfect refection of what I wanted to say, what felt like an answer to my prayers, what felt like fate, what I later learned was based on a passage from the first chapter of Corinthians.

I can only find a few words that can touch it’s reality and those words can only lie under a canopy of beauty.  As the days and months past I felt as if my prayers were being answered. Only, the answers were being not only found in the moment, but in the past, and in the future. Contemplating this now understood definition of Love, realizations ran through my soul like a raging river and in no other time of my life have I found myself, so many times, literally on my knees in tears of awe. As if everything that I had foolishly chosen for the sake of not ever feeling the need to say “what if?”, was in fact the best choice. As if everything that I had chosen for the sake of Love and Fate was in fact becoming, increasingly, seemingly, clearly, the foundation of a great choice.

I’ve come to trust astrology, not as a religion, not as tool to help my day seem easier to understand, but in like knowing what time the sun will rise again, and when again the moon will draw and swell the seas. Just as evergreens timing their photosynthesis on the sunrise and sunset is only a portion of life’s totality. This story of rebirth is only a chapter of a much grander epic.

A short time later while at the library I was browsing a site called The Library of Halexandria created by the writer, researcher, and nuclear physicist Daniel S. Ward. The informational architecture of this site is based on the Torah, the tree of life, and the fool’s journey. At the end of an article titled with the date of my birthday “July 20th” Daniel explains:

In terms of the future, on July 20, 2005, the planets Saturn and Chiron will be in their fifth opposition of the 21st Century in the signs of Leo and Aquarius — degrees symbolized by the key words, ‘conflagration’ and ‘concretization of an ideal’.  The two solar symbols for July 20th itself are ‘Inner rebirth through a total acceptance of the primordial values manifest in the human body and its natural functions’, and ‘The intuitive weighing of alternatives’.” [2]  There may indeed be drama afoot when the “Maverick” once again opposes the “Establishment”!  Stay tuned!