Oh and he diddles, and he flattens, and dilettantely fribbles flightenly
A formalist is he, that one so expeditious to miniaturize, unwittingly knee deep

And so comes the drought, famine, and the flame, urgent is the call, but
true to form and shallow, his perfunctory charge cries unprofound, and anguish

I am the son, and nemisis, sent to sail and labor under the name of his father.
On the ocean, hurt, but in acquiesce to wait for your countenance to lift my sail

I give you a chantey, worthy and courtly annulet, a gem polished to be lionized
Efficaciousness is its harmony, epic and beyond the cajoling, the wheedling, the fool

As I lay and descant, it is with aleatory I sing, it is fate I study and finally her I see
Potent is love, hortatory is her beauty, with her boon gracefulness becomes the sea

Then abjure, then the fool, then the sufferer, then to martyr, he becomes the teacher
Beyond your abdication and exclude lies beauty and love; oh the saint, oh the valentine

And so long she’s waited, tonight has called the raven
without a friend, she has hoped not, to be left behind

blank gazes force a burst, like in the beginning
and to beset or besieged, but really knotted

is when the just call, to be just then measured
in delight of annotation, she has been, again favored

while passerby, the lady in red, I’m without love
while I have loved the lady of red, I am beguiled

beckoned to be and poised, for her threshold and scuttle
where I’m confined but freed, without time nor greed

will I soar or plummet to her regresses or her summit
then to demarche, then to do battle, with the crucibles I’ve welded

from ritual to romance, this is the damned and the luck of lions
foreseen is the raven, the keeper, the taken, and sadly the foresaken

and force majeure, surety, and obligement are her flights of fancy
destined to divinate a blaze, brilliant, and accordant of her becoming glamour

As I read that article I couldn’t help but shake my head. Then I caught myself and realized that I shouldn’t judge. How is it in an age of such mass communication that we still end up barking at each other? How is it that we end up in such dark places with an almost infinite amount of knowledge at our finger tips? Do we not want to be better? Do we not want to be brighter? I wonder what would happen if some of us actually got our way? I wonder if we realize that some of the things we insist on being right would be tyranny to almost everyone who knows us?

“To look is not the same as to see, to see is not the same as to perceive. We perceive, really – on a higher, conceptual-functional level – only what we know, understand well and can give a name to. ” Zbigniew Czajkowski

Years ago I made a commitment to be a man, and in that commitment I know that before I can riposte I must be brave enough to open my eyes.  That being said, the very best riposte comes from the one who can foresee the others intent. We must have sure footing and we must know the objective before us or our presumptions will almost certainly seal our doom.

Jesus said, “I have cast fire upon the world, and look, I’m guarding it until it blazes.”

Many years ago there were so few of us, it’s hard to believe.  There was once an Earth that knew only a few human souls compared to the 6.7 billion walking the Earth today. At one point, we not only shared Earth with cousins of family, but cousins of evolution. I often wish I lived in those times fighting monstrous beasts with spears by day and fire by night; when families spent a millenia migrating over entire continents. In those days Man had to be a Man to live. Growing up was a right of passage. He was taught the essentials by is elders, then braved life. For if he didn’t, he died, and his kind with him. And so, his elders gave him fire.

We are creators. Everyday we make choices that effect others and the world around us, but more importantly they effect ourselves and our own ability to create.  Imagine that with every word you’re creating a foundation. One that is required to make the next step. As creators we gather the means to build our lives from the experiences of our trials and the trials of the folks we chose to respect. Often we suddenly realize that the ship is sinking and wonder “How could this happen!?!”, “I tried so hard to take the right precautions!”. We’ve all heard the phrases “house of glass” and “house of cards”. These phrases express the most profound truths. What kind of experiences are we creating? Are we walking on solid ground or are we creating quick sand for ourselves and the people around us? That being said, we only know a “house of cards” would be a poor one through trying and realizing that we’re in need of something better.

I can only find a few words that can touch the reality of those days and those words can only lie under a canopy of beauty. Realizations ran through my soul like a raging river and in no other period of time in my life have I found myself so many times literally on my knees, in tears of awe.

I had always stuck my neck out for my friends, whether they’ve seen it or not. But, not in a blind selfless way. It just made sense to take care of my friends so that maybe one day, if they so chose, they may understand the grace of forgiveness and do the same for me. So seemingly lost, never before so sincerely, with Orion shining bright in the dead of night, I begged God for understanding.

As the days and months past I felt as if my prayers were being answered. Only, the answers were being not only found in the moment, but in the past, and in the future. As if everything that I had foolishly chosen for the sake of not ever feeling the need to say “what if?”, was in fact the best choice. As if everything that I had chosen for the sake of Love and fate, was in fact the foundation of what was becoming, increasingly, seemingly, clearly, a great choice.

I’ve come to absolutely trust in astrology, not as a religion, not as tool to make my day seem easier to understand, but in like knowing what time the sun will rise again, and when again the moon will draw and swell the seas. Just as evergreens timing their photosynthesis on the sunrise and sunset is only a portion of the totality of life. This story of rebirth is only a chapter of a much grander epic.

Four years later, a friend was passing around a birthday book that, in great detail, went into the nature of people as according to the positions of astrological bodies on their birthdays. During those days in the winter and spring of 2005 leading up to my 29th birthday I experienced a fear so deep that I felt as if I walked a rope so high that if I fell I would be lost forever and if I made it to the other side I would be a hero. Reading my birthday page out of this book was like watching a movie replay the fate, fear, hope, and love of those days.

I found this that spring simply by checking the update page of my favorite website. A site that I found by simply looking for more information about an author that was covinced Christ was a man as I have always felt, a site written by the nuclear physist Daniel S. Ward who happened to live only a few miles away.

In terms of the future, on July 20, 2005, the planets Saturn and Chiron will be in their fifth opposition of the 21st Century in the signs of Leo and Aquarius — degrees symbolized by the key words, ‘conflagration’ and ‘concretization of an ideal’.  The two solar symbols for July 20th itself are ‘Inner rebirth through a total acceptance of the primordial values manifest in the human body and its natural functions’, and ‘The intuitive weighing of alternatives’.” [2]  There may indeed be drama afoot when the “Maverick” once again opposes the “Establishment”!  Stay tuned!

The pic at the foot of this site was taken by Viking 1 on my birthday July 20th, 1976.

If you’re here you probably know a little about me and you probably know that I’m hell bent on changing the world (I’m not actually hell bent, but to some it may seem that way. I’m actually relentlessly heaven bent!). If you’re one of those none believers, don’t fret, if you can find one thing that went right for you and yours in the last hmm.. day.. then we’re definitely in the same boat! Good Job!

As some of you may know I’ve had a project on the back burner for some time. You might have heard.. “I want to start a non-profit blog that promotes music, indie artists, and citizen journalism”. Well, I think all my research, experimenting with New Media tools, and endless hours with my face buried in any Internet browser available is reaching critical mass.  That being said though, I am looking for the most effective boom, so it might be a few months before I actually pull the trigger.

A sweet piece of the puzzle fell into my lap this morning as I woke, sat up in my bed, and turned on my laptop to check my increasingly awesome google account.

I noticed I had a new friend over at Mashable, so I stopped by to check it out. One thing that I really love about work on the Internet is the complete and total randomness. Of course, on occasion, this can seem a little overwhelming, but sometimes no matter how hard you look for something you never can find it. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Anyway, I ended up at Mashable this morning and found Guzzelit. I’ve seen several of these types of services, some with a hefty fee; Guzzelit is free so I went ahead, signed up, and found a great RWW article on streaming music resources. At the top of the list was Grooveshark.

All I have to say is.. How have I missed this! Maybe I found it at one point and wasn’t impressed..? Honestly it’s the wordpress plugin that sold me..

I have to say that I’ve been a bit foolish in my day. I also have to admit if I hadn’t been I would have been a fool. I’m 14 days away from my 33rd birthday and I’m wondering again if I’m not being a little foolish.

The truth is as I write this I feel as though I’m losing faith… But, I know that if I do I’m dead… The truth is I’m really just getting tired…

How many times have you heard the line.. “the quickest way to failure is trying to please everyone.” Well, my foolishness lies in the fact that time and time again I refuse to believe it. I suppose you could say that my childhood had something to do with it. But, even as I write this, I’m trying to put it in away that will make it acceptable for someone I might never speak to… Instead of just writing…

I know that I can’t please every person I cross paths with. I know this on a very deep level. But, that being said, I know that I should be sympathetic to everyone who I cross paths with.  If I see them falling shouldn’t I stop to help them up? Another point  is that we often try very hard to avoid someone because of a very shallow assumption. When in fact we may be blinding ourselves to a very real and much more profound danger…

But, I’m tired.. In the last year and a half since I’ve moved back from Colorado I’ve reconnected with my Mom and my Brother. And when I talk with my Mom or my Brother about my frustrations they both tell me the same thing… “You need to take care of yourself..” ..I guess what I’m trying to say is, that’s exactly the point I feel I’m at…

This pretty much sums it up..

Wisdom lies not in knowing what is going to happen, but in knowing you can’t always predict what will happen when it does.